an public record of roving artist

I've been thinking recently,
about one thing. Yes. the reason I live for.

silly I know. But I figured out something.
I guess it's my songs, I live for songs.
Or maybe they live with me.

All the loves I had, people I've met are imprinted in my songs.
I have a song for many occasions. love, hate, death, birth.
I guess that living a life I do now is the most natural to give bith to them.
Just take it as it comes.

I do not imagine creating songs after receiving a grant from a producer
and living an artist life of doing nothing.
I might be wrong.

perhaps you may not treat the stuff I create seriously, so thats why
I don't fucking sing you the fucking thing.

I must do records I know. But I must rehearse more because I play/sing so shit.
And why rehearse when (in my head it all sounds like fifth symphony or a second concert,
and) the surrounding doesn't want to hear it anyway?